It's a bit hard to know where to start with the happenings of the last week and a half. It seems like too much has happened for me to even keep it all in my head. Especially since I'm still reeling from it all. I suppose I will start with yesterday, or maybe the day before yesterday. I was enjoying a few minutes of free time between the end of my work day at school, and the welcome event at the Hard Rock Cafe for the US Embassy's "Brücken bauen - Building Bridges" conference. Several weeks ago I was contacted by a woman from the Embassy to see if I and two other Fulbright TA's would be willing to moderate a discussion group for a youth conference that they were planning. We met and talked a bit about the conference. There were to be three sections, one on National Identity, one on Media and Public Perception, and finally one on Community Service. After a welcome statement from the US Ambassador to Germany, and a funny warm up presentation on Stereotypes, there would be a panel discussion, in which three experts would talk about the topics on the agenda. After the panel discussion we would break into groups, one lead by each of the TA's to discuss to give the kids (German and American) a chance to discuss the topic on their terms. We decided I would take the National Identity section. My expert was a PhD who had done research on hip-hop and urban/global youth identities.
It was likely to be the most popular section for obvious reasons.
So the day before yesterday I'm taking a moment to relax before heading out to the conference opening. I get a call from the Embassy. My expert won't be able to make it, could I give fill in for the expert on the panel as well? Huh!? Seriously? Me fill in for the rockin' Hip-Hop PhD? It seemed absurd. I asked her to call me back in an hour so that I could have a chance to think and see if I could put something together. I reluctantly accepted, a bit panicked. I wrote something up off the top of my head, and went to the kick-off. At the kick-off there were tons of people from the Embassy. It was almost impossible to hear who was American and who was German because their "American" was so good, only the names sometimes gave it away. I mentioned that I was interesting in filmmaking and photography, and pretty soon people were asking me for more information, and saying they know someone that they could talk to for me. No promises, but they would ask this producer they know, or this guy working for the Berliner Filmfest, or whatever. It's pretty incredible how connections like that work. I mean, the only reason I was at the Embassy thing was that I had done a presentation for some teachers a while back, and one of them had a wife who worked for the Embassy. He was impressed and recommended Sam and me. Connections. So know I'm actually going to have to email these people and remind them of their offers to help. You never know.
It was near impossible to get anyone to talk to me about the position I was supposed to fill on the "Expert" panel. The only people I could get to actually look at the thing I had prepared were two interns. They gave me positive feedback, and I went home to sleep on it. Yesterday was the actual conference. It's all kind of a blur now, but I sort of felt like I rock star when I finally got up, sat at the panel and did my thing. All the organizers knew that I was a stand-in, and didn't have terribly high expectations (which is part of the reason I agreed to do it). I gave my intro confidently, (I was the first one to go!) and felt that I was pretty well in the flow. I got a couple of tough questions, something to the effect of "Who should be responsible for creating a more inclusive national identity? The governments?"(to which I replied that the governments need to leave space for changing identities, validate this change, and encourage organic formation of identity, but mostly they should stay out of it and give families support to find and help their children find their place in their nation.) And "With all this diversity and loose definition of National Identity, how can a nation foster unity and patriotism." I have to admit this one took me off guard a little, as I consider patriotism in the sense that the government uses it to be dangerous and harmful. I stumbled a bit, but basically said that when you make people feel accepted by their society, they will fill a sort of unity no matter where they come from. At the end of the panel discussion two more questions came back to the issue of National Identity. Essentially the kids said that they had a hard time finding their identity because it is constantly being imposed on them from the outside. Essentially, they were constantly battling against the perceptions of Germany as a Nazi state. I told them that I as an American could relate to this, often being written off by people before I even opened my mouth as an imperialist, warmongering, rabid consumer. I told them that they have the power to change all that. That such perceptions cannot stand in the face of personal contact. That every time they meet someone outside of Germany, they can and will destroy these ideas. They can show by dealing with the past, that they have considered and dealt with the Nazi past better than anyone. They can show themselves for the ultimate anti-fascist people that they have become. It may not be a world-wide solution, but just by going abroad and meeting and talking to people, they can open the minds of countless people. They loved this. Spontaneous applause several times. I felt great having the chance to make these kids feel empowered. To show them their power.
The break-out session was incredible. They were talkative, critical, and totally engaged. I asked who would represent the group, and this boy, Franklin (half Kenyan-half German), who I had noticed in the panel discussion already as an incredibly positive and powerful kid, volunteered. By the end of a really energized discussion, I asked them if they might want to put down their thoughts in Rhyme form, since we'd spent most of the time talking about music and global youth identity. I said that they could show Washington why these things matter, why it's worth spending money to bring them together, to show DC what they were capable of. They were up for it. They broke into groups and wrote Rhymes, which ended up being amazing. All in less than an hour! They were so upset when we had to end. They wanted to keep working. I'm going to try to scan all their rhymes, so that maybe they can keep working, so that they can show Washington. Franklin came up to me at the end and with such admiration thanked me for being such a great teacher. I was speechless because he was the one who was impressive from my point of view.
I'm still in a bit of a daze from it all.
all. The celebration begins on the First Advent, the first Sunday in December. Cozy little huts with food, mulled wine (Glühwein), and handmade gifts pop up on every Platz and free space in the city. Marion (the woman who gave me a place to stay in my first weeks in Berlin, and who has become a dear friend) took me to the best markets around. I contemplated bringing my camera, but saw that the battery was nearly dead, and decided it wasn't worth it. A bad decision, which I did not repeat on subsequent market trips. The first market we went to was quite beautiful and not nearly as kitschy as some in touristy parts of Berlin. It was at a farm here in town. It was pretty amazing to see a farm surrounded by the city, but of course it was quite necessary before the fall of the wall, since West Berlin had difficult access to fresh food as the surrounding agricultural countryside was off limits to them.
I started watching the people and saw so many fascinating things going on all around. There was a beautiful young woman with doe eyes, working a booth for a group to prevent violence against foreign women. She was selling little lottery tickets for the items on the table. She held up her little basket, with red tickets up to an older man, looking up at him with bright enticing eyes. Beautiful. I started seeing things like this everywhere and hated that I did not have my camera.
